Don't Stand Next To Jennifer Aniston

• The producers for Dancing with the Stars already know who they want for Christmas as they return to the tea kettle that brought them grizzly ratings (enough puns for you? I’m getting them out of my system early). Rumor has it that they are approaching former first dude (UGH) Todd Palin to dance. E!

• Jessica Simpson still likes to eat. Which, judging from recent photographs, shouldn’t come as a surprise. Her NYC Thanksgiving weekend dinner went well as she managed to not eat everything in sight, including her fiancee. Popeater

• Chelsea Handler did not like being photographed next to Jennifer Aniston on their recent vacation together. I would make some quip about not wanting to be photographed next to Jennifer Aniston in any context but after looking at these photos, hell, I want to be next to Jennifer Aniston. Us

• Tony Parker’s attorney had to let him go because it turns out he also represents Parker’s teammate Brent Barry who is getting a divorce as well because his wife and Parker got it on allegedly. I bet that was a really awkward meeting in the lobby. Or they high fived. I don't know. Celebuzz

• Tiger Woods got a twitter! And of course, even its been proven the guy knows how to have fun, its boring as hell. Radar

• Paris Hilton ran out of gas and Brooke Mueller came to the rescue. But honestly, how do you run out of gas? Like, its not that hard. Paris you’re not helping. Radar

• And finally, while joking about 9/11 isn’t that funny, Rachel Uchitel was on the receiving end of a pretty sick burn when a New York Magazine editor txted her that “her (lover) didn’t die on 9/11, he escaped. I feel his pain.” BOOM roasted. Radar