My First Gay Bar, Cont.

I guess Andrew Sullivan liked my little piece.  How flattering. 

My First Gay Bar

Andrew Sullivan has started a fascinating series on first visits to gay bars.  He was inspired by this Slate article on the decline of the gay bar.  It got me thinking about my first gay bar and what a night that was.  It was, of all places, The Heretic in Atlanta.  I was active duty military, stationed in rural Alabama and incredibly naive and inexperienced. I was also incredibly paranoid of getting caught in a gay bar, especially the Heretic, which had such a reputation that even I had heard of it. I went with my very first boyfriend who I had just met, and a couple of his friends. As we were walking in, I was too preocupied with scanning the parking lot for undercover Military Police (I told you I was paranoid) to notice the guy checking IDs until I was up. I fumbled with my wallet and out flopped my military ID. I scrambled to hide it and find my drivers license and the guy said "Don't worry honey, that's not the first one of those I've seen tonight." His joke eased my paranoia. That night was the first time I ever danced with a man. It was overwhelming to see a room full of men dancing with men. If there's anything more liberating than that, I haven't experienced it yet.

Quote of the Day

"Pretty damn impressive for a congressman. I don't see why a handsome young man with huge pecs and ripped abs has to be gay. And it's a little heterophobic to assume so."

--Andrew Sullivan on Republican Congressman Aaron Schock baring his bosom in the new issue of Men's Health.   I have to agree that the body is impressive.  The Congressman deserves kudos for his commitment to fitness. 

Of course, the assumption doesn't seem so heterophobic in light of this. 

I used to read Men's Health all the time.  I wonder why I stopped?  Oh yeah, I came out.

Asking Kevin Spacey if He's Gay = Bullying Gay Kids

I am not kidding.  Kevin Sessums interviewed the Golden Globe nominee and asked him about the gay rumors that have followed him throughout his career.  Here's an excerpt from the interview, with Sessums' questions in bold and Spacey's answers in italics:

We gay men have always proudly claimed you as a member of our tribe, and yet you don't proudly claim us back. Why?


Look, I might have lived in England for the last several years but I'm still an American citizen and I have not given up my right to privacy.

But that's where we differ. I don't think being gay is a private matter. Heterosexuals don't consider their heterosexuality itself a private matter. I'm not asking you what goes on behind a locked door anymore than I would ask a heterosexual. I'm not asking if you're a top or bottom. That's none of my business.

Let's enlarge the subject even more. I think what we have seen in terms of gay teenagers committing suicide because of bullying is anguishing. I think young people, if they are feeling like they are confused, need to know that there are people to talk to and that there are places they can go and not feel alone. But I feel that they have just as many rights as I do to not be bullied. And I don't understand people who say, "Well, this is a terrible thing that is happening to this young person whose life is being exposed," and then turn around and do it to another person. People have different reasons for the way they live their lives. You cannot put everyone's reasons in the same box. It's just a line I've never crossed and never will.

Well, I don't equate my discussing this with you as bullying you. You are an accomplished grown man, not a fearful teenager. But would you do one of those "It Gets Better" videos? I think that would be great if you did one of those.

Yeah. Absolutely. I'd do one of those. But why is it in this country that kids might think it's okay to bully and make fun of somebody? I'll tell you why, because what do they see in the media happening all the time? In the media they seem to think that's okay. So if we stop using sexuality as a weapon against people maybe everyone will eventually get cool with it.

Despite the fact I believe Sessums was being overly-generous by saying we've always proudly claimed Spacey as a member of our tribe, Spacey's self-importance and lack of perspective is startling, even by movie star standards.  He's also not being truthful by saying "it's a line I've never crossed and never will."  He has explicitly denied being gay on the record at least once.  As Andrew Sullivan put it:

"One reason teens feel shame is because powerful gay men entrench the next generation's sense of isolation by staying needlessly in the closet".

Headline of the Year

"Seven Inches is Enough, RIM tells Jobs"

Maybe the headline of all time. 

via Andrew Sullivan.

Lesson Learned: Shave or Go Grey

Andrew Sullivan has written about his adventures with "grey blending" his beard:

"You warned me. I wavered. And next time, remember that "Grey-blending" is the enhanced rejuvenation technique known previously as boot-blacking."

Read it all here. 

Quote of the Day

"You provide a choice: immigration reform or mass deportation? a peace process in Israel/Palestine or a civilizational war with Islam?; abandoning the long-term unemployed or finding a way to keep them afloat?; war with Iran or containment?; more settlements on the West Bank or a negotiation to get rid of them?; repeal or keep health insurance reform?; repeal or keep financial re-regulation; tackle climate change or deny it's happening? ratchet up the war on drugs or relax laws against pot? continue to demonize gay couples or find a better way to integrate them into society? propose some serious long-term tax-and-cut compromises to deal with the debt - or keep playing the partisan blame-game?"


--Andrew Sullivan, from a terrific post on how the Democrats should address the mid-terms.  Read it all here. 

I Couldn't Care Less

Via Andrew Sullivan comes Brit David Mitchell addressing Americans about the Queen's English.  Ordinarily, I would find someone like this insufferable, but he hit on one of my pet peeves so I think he's pretty terrific. 


Seriously people, "I could care less" makes no sense.  Stop saying it.  Now.

Note to David:  You seem like a good guy, but if you're going to make fun of silly American stereotypes (they talk funny!) you might want to get the stereotypical teeth fixed.

Also, I have never heard of "titbit" but will start saying it regularly. 

VA Gov. Backtracks on Gay Rights

You probably recall that Virginia's new and allegedly moderate governor, Bob McDonnell recently issued an executive order yanking GLBT anti-discrimination protections in state employment.  Then, his Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli, issued a personal legal opinion that state universities had no legal authority to offer those same anti-discrimination protections.  There has been a significant backlash and yesterday Gov. McDonnell backtracked with a statement that says the following:

"Discrimination based on factors such as one’s sexual orientation or parental status violates the Equal Protection Clause of the United States Constitution."

The text of the entire statement is here.  This statement does not have the effect of law while the executive order does, so gays still have no legal protection, but the statement is significant for a couple of reasons.  First, the Supreme Court has never held that sexual orientation employment discrimination violates equal protection.  Such a holding would put sexual orientation on an equal footing with race and ethnicity in federal anti-discrimination law.  Further, as Andrew Sullivan pointed out, it would mean we have a constitutionally protected right to marry.  This would be the holy grail of gay rights. This is an amazingly sweeping statement. 

The second reason it's significant is that he felt enough political pressure from throwing gays under the bus to do a 180 degree turn.  I would prefer seeing the previous executive order rescinded, and I certainly don't believe McDonnell and Cuccinelli have suddenly become cool with the gays, but it's encouraging to see bigots pressured into backing off. 

Films of Whatever That Decade Was Called

From Paul Proulx via Andrew Sullivan comes this lovely compilation called Films of the 2000s.  Enjoy. 


the films of the 2000s from Paul Proulx on Vimeo.

Quote of the Day

"What the Jews were to the right in the 1920s, the gays are in the 2010s. Unpleasant, dispensable, and if possible, wiped out."

-Andrew Sullivan


Read the entire post here. 

Sullivan on Solomnese

Andrew Sullivan was less than pleased with HRC head Joe Solomnese's email blast urging everyone to withhold judgment on President Obama until 2017. Watch:



My comment is here.

Joe Solomnese's response to the uproar over his 2017 email is here.

Andrew Sullivan's Readers are Brilliant

"I realize that's why so much of the country fears letting homosexuals serve openly in the military, because it will show America that they are not inferior."

A reader of Andrew Sullivan's blog. Read the rest here.