We're the Worst!

A few weeks ago I posted a map showing how every state is number 1 for something positive.  Today's map is not so fun.  This shows how every state is number 1 for something nobody wants.  According to this, Texas ranks 50th in high school graduation.  No surprise.  Of course, the Lege is going to solve our budget deficit by slashing education.  Shockingly, my home state of South Carolina is number 1 in mobile homes.  I'm surprised there aren't more tornadoes.  However, Sandlappers can keep the state motto of Thank God for Mississippi because the Hospitality State is the most obese.  At least we're not fat in our trailers.  Actually, you might want to avoid the whole Gulf Coast area.  A high school drop out from Texas who heads east can expect gonorrhea, obesity and stroke!  If he takes that once-in-a-lifetime trip to Disney World, he'd better hold on to his wallet because Florida leads the nation in identity theft.  Those sinners in Delaware have the most abortions.  I wonder what other sins they're committing there?  No wonder they created Christine O'Donnell.  New Yorkers have the longest commutes, unless you're a smart Manhattanite who walks to work.  Illinois is the "least green," whatever that means.  California has the worst pollution.  Actually, I'm surprised Texas didn't take that crown since Houston often leads lists of the most polluted cities.  Finally, I wonder if PETA knows about Washington?  

I Ate Fried Butter And Lived

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, fried butter from the Texas State Fair.  Lazy Circles reader AC suggested I get some.  Actually, she read about fried butter dipped in chocolate.  I didn't see that, but I did see the honey cinnamon version.  Frankly, it was a bit underwhelming.  It was like a very, very, very buttery doughnut that squirted a bit in the mouth.  As a proper, weight-obsessed gay, I tried to pawn off as much as I could to Wes and our friends Roy and Gene.  Wes and Roy each ate one and Gene wisely passed.  That left three for me.  I'm not going to eat again for a month.

The prize winner this year was fried beer.  Yuck.  I didn't try it, but I'm not that crazy about cold beer (yes, AC, my palate has matured since our CofC days), so I wasn't interested in trying some fried concoction.  I didn't try the fried margarita, either.  They should be cold and frozen.  A fried margarita is a crime against nature.   

Here's daisy-fresh Roy and Gene enjoying the horticultural exhibit:

My Life in the Bible Belt: Strippers to Guns

From The DiSCust.com by way of Floatingsheap.com comes the USA Guns, Strippers and Pizza Map!

It enlarges nicely.  The red dots indicate more references to pizza in Google Maps placemarks.  The yellow dots are for more references to strip clubs and the green to guns.  In my life's journey through the Bible belt, I spent my young formative years in North Augusta, South Carolina, shown here:

I have conveniently pointed out the yellow stripper dots indicating the greater North Augusta/Aiken/Central Savannah River Area.  This most conservative area of the nation is apparently awash in strippers. 

As an adult, I live in North Texas, shown here:

Again, I have conveniently pointed it out.  It is awash in green for guns. 

Thus in my life, I have progressed from bare boobs to armed boobs.  God Bless America.   

Texas School Board Whitewashes History

The GOP-dominated Texas Board of Education has spent this winter revising social studies standards and the results have been a bizarre disaster.  Led by Dr. Don McLeroy (a dentist, not an academic) the new standards stress the Christian principles guiding the founding fathers (questionable at best); the influence of Ronald Reagan but not Lyndon Johnson's Great Society; Newt Gingrich and his Contract With America but not Sonia Sotomayor.  They also removed Thomas Jefferson from a discussion of the Enlightenment.  They're not too thrilled about that whole enlightenment thing anyway.  The latest travesty is the whitewashing of The Alamo.  The Republicans on the board flatly refused to teach students about Tejanos who fought and died for Texas independence at The Alamo.  They seem to think the old Fess Parker TV series was historically accurate.

The news isn't all bad.  McLeroy was recently defeated in his bid for the republican nomination for re-election.  His opponent campaigned specifically on not imposing his personal views on the school system and stepping back from McLeroy-style extremism.  McLeroy's term doesn't expire until the end of the year, however, so he has plenty of time left to do more damage. 

A final vote on the standards takes place in May, then the textbook manufacturers bring their finished products to the board for approval next year.

Texas, one of the wealthiest states, ranks 46th in education.