Showing posts with label Ted Haggard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ted Haggard. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Quote of the Day

"I think that probably, if I were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual"

--Media whore Ted Haggard in an interview with GQ.  He also admits to buying meth from Mike Jones "five or six times."  He says he used it for masturbation while watching porn.  "Hey, I'm a masturbation guy."  Seriously, he actually said that.  He also says that he and Jones never had "sex sex."  He says Jones gave him massages and jacked him off.  I give Haggard props for getting beyond the "I'm a heterosexual with issues" bullshit, but I strongly suspect he hasn't yet told the whole truth. 

Friday, January 7, 2011

Ted Haggard: Scandalous

That's the title of former rent boy patron and meth buying reverend Ted Haggard's new reality show on TLC.  Surely you aren't surprised.  This was inevitable for Haggard the attention hog.  TLC is also the network of Sarah Palin's Alaska.

Wait a minute, I thought Ted and the missus already had a reality show?

Monday, July 26, 2010

Ted Haggard: "I Have Over-Repented"

Ted Haggard is back with a new church, and it's growing.  In fact, it's outgrown it's original location and is moving into a new, bigger space.  Haggard has re-discovered his mojo and his ego.  From the Wall Street Journal:

"Tiger Woods needs to golf. Michael Vick needs to be playing football," Mr. Haggard said as his new congregation joined him and Gayle in their backyard for a post-worship picnic. Little kids, shrieking with joy, splashed in the pool. Men grilled burgers. Women set out chicken salad.


"Ted Haggard," Mr. Haggard said, "needs to be leading a church."

He acknowledged grave lapses of judgment in the episode he refers to as "my crisis." But Mr. Haggard also said that in his sorrow and shame, he accepted too much guilt after the scandal broke. 

"I over-repented," he said.

Of course he needs to be leading a church.  He has no marketable skills.  All he knows how to do is exploit other people's faith in God for profit. 

"If I was arrogant, I would have gotten a job in a farm bureau co-op somewhere in Iowa, changed my name and never been heard from again."

No.  If you were humble and contrite, you would have gotten a job in a farm bureau co-op somewhere in Iowa (if you were lucky enough to get hired) and lived an anonymous life.  Instead, like an arrogant, delusional ego-maniac, you returned to Colorado Springs, started a church, and courted the media. 

But wait, there's more:

"He portrays his encounter with the prostitute as a massage that went awry and said he doesn't have same-sex attractions."

Oh really, Mr. over-repented?  What about this?  And this? And a whole lot more.   Repentance involves scrupulous honesty.  All Missy Ted has done is continue to lie.  He's not man enough for true repentance.    

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Haggard to Open New Church Featuring Same Old BS

Look out, Colorado Springs, he's back.  Yesterday, self-described "heterosexual with issues" and rent-boy patron Ted Haggard issued a teaser press release promising a "groundbreaking statement" today.  Shockingly, it wasn't so groundbreaking.  He's opening a new scam church.  This was inevitable.  The guy has no idea how to make money other than talking people into handing it over to him.  In the name of Jesus, of course.

The new church is to be called St. James Church because the Book of James emphasizes good works blah blah blah give me money blah blah blah.  It's to be an "inclusive" church welcoming gay, straight, bi, Democrat, or Republican.  Sounds great, right?  Not so fast:

"Asked if his new church would take a position on homosexuality, Haggard said “we will take positions.” “I’m going to teach the bible, chapter by chapter, verse by verse,” “but I don’t want to be a political activist.” Haggard explained that the church wouldn’t advocate a specific public policy, but would instead “encourage” members to strive towards the ideal of biblical heterosexuality and monogamy."

So if you're gay, Haggard's answer is for you is a passionless heterosexual marriage and a lifetime of self-delusion and loneliness.  So much for "inclusive."