Reichen's Life on the Z List

I actually watched the new Logo show The A List.   Hey, I'm unemployed and have time on my hands, don't judge.  It's been hyped as sort of a Gay Housewives of New York.  I've never watched the Real Housewives of anywhere, but if those shows are anything like this, I weep for our culture.  The A List could have been trashy fun, instead it was just trashy.  Actually, trashy is too kind.  It was just dumb.  I felt a little dirty afterwards, like I needed to watch a few hours of PBS to cleanse the toxins. 

The two "stars" of the A List are Reichen (above, as if you haven't seen his skin pics a thousand times) and photographer Mike Ruiz; two hunky gay-famous TV personalities.  Reichen has been trying to be a star since The Amazing Race and, God bless him, he keeps working at it.  He's still gorgeous and still waxes every visible surface, but the idea of him on New York's A List is a bit of a stretch.  I'm hardly an expert on New York society, but girl, please. 

On the show, Reichen is in town to star in the off-Broadway musical My Big Fat Gay Wedding, even though he can neither sing nor dance.  He and I are the only gays who can't dance.  Anywhoo, the whole first episode revolved around his theatrical debut.  He also has a spectacular Brazilian model boyfriend named Rodiney (that's the happy couple above).  Rodiney (the i is apparently silent) doesn't say or do much but when you look like that, why ruin it by talking?  We see Rodiney, shirtless on a sailboat, proclaiming his love for Reichen.  We see Reichen saying I love you right back.  We see Reichen telling the audience at home that he doesn't really mean it.  Ugh.

I've actually heard of Mike Ruiz (pictured above) because he's done some photo shoots for America's Next Top Model.  He probably comes the closest to a real A-lister, but it's all relative.  He's extremely muscular, really too much so.  His physique makes Reichen look undernourished.  We see Mike making a smoothie while he talks about his healthy lifestyle, because we all know he achieved his gigantic muscles solely through smoothies and weights.  We see a montage of the famous people he's photographed, including Tyra.  We see him shooting Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child in a jacket with a lion's head on each shoulder.  Seriously.  We see him posing for his own photo shoot in a tight tank top, arms back to show off his hairy pits.  We see him on a roof top, peeling off his tight shirt, lounging around with his arms back, showing off his hairy pits.  If hairy pits are your thing, Mike's your man.

Then there's a gaggle of gays who's names I forgot, but it doesn't matter because they're interchangeable.  There's the former "model" who's claim to fame is having dated Marc Jacobs for 10 minutes and supposedly hooking up with Reichen in Palm Springs.  His purpose is to create relationship drama between Reichen and Rodiney, although Rodiney is 1000 times better looking so Reichen would be an idiot to cheat on him with this twink.  "Model" guy is just back from England where he "had a house," though God knows how since he has no apparent source of income.  He's back in New York to jump-start that modeling career, but alas he's too fat.  He's not fat, but go with it. I guess he's lost the abs, which is apparently a fate worse than death.   

There's Salon Guy who owns a salon that caters to the New York glitterati, although he appears to have no clients or employees save his bitchy best friend, Bitchella (not his real name).  Bitchella's job is to make constant snarky comments in a whiny voice.  Bitchella is very good at his job.  Salon Guy lives in a penthouse with his older husband who "works in finance," i.e., supports his boy toy's dreams of reality show stardom.  They want to adopt.  Again, I weep for our culture.

There's Model Agent guy; the only one who appears to have a job.  We see him telling an "international model" that she's booked a show or something.  Then he goes shopping.

There might be one or two other assorted skinny gays, but I forget.  They all had brunch and tried to out-bitch each other.  It was like gay hell.

Riechen had his stage debut and let's just say Raul Esparza isn't loosing any sleep.  The gaggle was all there in their clingy tops, exchanging bitchy comments in the audience.  How fresh.  After the show, Reichen and Rodiney went to their place in the Hamptons some house with a pool that the production company rented for a few hours.  Isn't Reichen supposed to be on stage again tonight?  How can he go to "The Hamptons?"  Whatever, they got naked in the hot tub and made out.  Clearly, this was the high point of the show.  Then "model" guy called and created fake relationship drama.    That's pretty much it. I watched it so you don't have to. You're welcome.



I don't know why Reichen doesn't just break down and do porn.  He's done soft core on Dante's Cove and slipped off the square-cut in the hot tub with Rodiney, so he's almost there.  He just needs a little nudge.