Miss Pole Dancing USA!

What did I miss while I was floating around the Virgins?  Only the most awesome Miss USA ever!  I DVRed the pageant and swore LC NY Bureau Chief Doug to secrecy so the surprise wouldn't be ruined.  While I was waiting in the St. Thomas airport for my much (much) delayed flight, I saw the headline on the CNN monitor:  "First Muslim American Miss USA."  The beautiful Miss Michigan Rima Fakih was crowned at the pageant in Las Vegas.  She's Lebanese-born from a Muslim family, although I would wager that she's not exactly devout.  Her family reportedly celebrates both Muslim and Christian traditions and she went to a Catholic school.   During the pageant, she was asked if birth control should be covered by insurance and she said "absolutely" without hesitation.  She's a 100% American girl. 

In fact, she's soooo American that she won a pole dancing contest!  Hey, what else is there to do in Detroit these days?  Miss Universe officials are concerned and have asked for more pictures since pole dancing is so much sleazier than a lingerie photo shoot that Maxim Magazine would reject as too racy. 

Don't worry folks, she'll retain her crown, but there will be some media training.  Probably a good idea. 

Despite all that cornfed sexiness, wingnut screamer Debbie Schlussel has lied reported that Rima is a "supporter of Hezbollah and used the pageant name at a forum promoting Islamic subjugation of women."   I guess she missed the part where Rima totally rocked her bikini.  Seriously Debbie, Islamic fundamentalism infiltrating American beauty pageants?  And pole dancing contests?  This makes sense to you?  Do you really think the Baby Jesus wants you to make shit up?  Hezbollah is not exactly thrilled with Donald Trump's parade of boobage.

Don't think logic will deter the wingnuts.  Their emerging heroine is 1st runner up Miss Oklahoma.  She's the new Miss California, a beautiful girl who lost because she took a stand against the angry left.  Miss OK was asked about Arizona's new immigration law and answered that she's a "huge believer in states' rights," stumbled around a bit, then smiled.  It was a fairly incomprehensible answer and frankly, so was the question.  Andrew Breitbart babbled that she handled the question "with grace, aplomb, and intelligence. Naturally, she didn’t win."

Something called New York News Today is asking  if "Miss Oklahoma lost Miss USA 2010 crown due to Arizona immigration law?" and "reports" that "it has emerged that" Miss Oklahoma may have lost because of her answer to the immigration question.  It has "emerged?"  Tell me crack reporter, how did this important story "emerge?"  Like Venus from the sea?  Maybe from a hysterical wingnut blog?  Shockingly, Fox News has picked it up.  I'm sure Miss Okie has a great future as a Fox News babe. 
I'm sure this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that a furrner won Miss USA.  Nothing at all.  Hey, where's her birth certificate anyway?

One more thing; just when you thought this story couldn't get any better, Johnny Weir was a judge!