SC Republicans are Freaks!

And I mean sexual freaks AND freak show freaks.  First, we had family values Governor Sanford hiking the Appalachian Trail all the way to some Argentinian tail.  Then, Mike Rogers of Blog Active, the guy who outed Larry Craig months before the bathroom incident, outed French Lieutenant Governor Andre' Bauer as a big ol' 'mo.  This was not exactly a shock after his interview with The State in which he brought up the homo rumors so he could deny them.  Not a brilliant move, especially since the interview took place in his beautifully-appointed downtown loft. 

But I digress.  Now comes news that leading GOP candidate for Governor, State Representative Nikki Haley allegedly had an affair.  She's a South Carolina Republican, so it's practically a job requirement.  Conservative SC blogger Will Folks has said that he and Haley did the dirty deed when he was single, but she was not.  He even has phone records showing lengthy, late night phone calls.  Frankly, I'm not sure I believe it.  Haley is pictured up top.  She's got kind of an Angie Harmon thing going, right?  Here's Folks:

Ugh!  How hard up do you have to be to touch that?  Would you risk your career for 30 seconds over Tokyo with that lummox? 

But wait, there's more!  The other day, Andre Bauer fired his "political consultant" Larry Marchant who, 2 hours later, alleged he also had an affair with Haley!  Here's Larry:

OK, this one looks doable in a total douchebag sort of way. 

Just to make sure the camera stays on him, media hag Andre challenged Nikki to take a lie detector test about her sex life and said he would take one himself.  Wow, Andre.  You really are totally lacking in self-awareness.  Here's the utterly brilliant Lt. Gov. explaining it all to Live Five:

There's still more!  State GOP Senator Jake Knotts called both President Obama and Nikki Haley "ragheads" in an internet radio interview.  Keeping it classy, Jake.  Haley's parents are Sikh immigrants from India.  Here's what Jake had to say:

"We've already got a raghead in the White House, we don't need another raghead in the governor's mansion."

I guess this is what passes for wit in SC GOP circles.  Here's Jake:

No, that's not Boss Hogg.  That would be an insult to the sophisticated nuance of The Dukes of Hazzard.   

Folks, when I was growing in The Palmetto State, I had no idea the conservative Republicans were getting all the action!  No wonder there are so many Republicans there!

h/t to LC NY Bureau Chief Doug.